


Once In A Supermoon

by 2891



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Angelic Lore, Bottom Nagisa Kaworu, Canon Related, Cunnilingus, F/M, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Mind Meld, Mind Sex, Oral Sex, Vaginal Sex, but it’s not by kaworu don’t worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:48:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23941846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2891/pseuds/2891
Summary: Every full moon, Rei feels a certain “urge” to merge. Tonight, it is not only full, but a supermoon, and the pull is stronger than ever... but it’s calling her towards Kaworu Nagisa.
Relationships: Ayanami Rei/Nagisa Kaworu
Comments: 8
Kudos: 28





	Once In A Supermoon

**Author's Note:**

> There are certain parts where Rei and Kaworu are speaking telepathically. I put those dialogues in italics, to imply mental communication. 
> 
> NGE characters, property of Gainax / Hideaki Anno, used for entertainment purposes only.

It hung high in the sky like a sign; of the lateness of the hour and the degree of her insomnia. Frustrated, she gave up. She was certainly not in the habit of retreating from battle but she had to nonetheless concede defeat to this one and so, got up, dressed and walked out of her apartment. 

It was so full it was nearly blinding, coming into clearer view from the front balcony and for an instant she felt the need to shield her eyes. She observed it for a few heartbeats, along with her emotions, and the unusual effect it had upon them. It was particularly large this month; a “supermoon.” A real wonder to behold.

Yet to her, it was undoubtedly a call, and she felt unable to refuse it. 

The moon figured heavily in her life: it was the colour of her suit, her hair, of the empty room in which she was routinely scanned, probed and studied. It was there beside her on every mission, every attack, and every lonely evening after. 

She thought about the irony of its significance on her sex. Moon’s blood. A woman who does not bleed. The Goddess of Fertility had scorned her. 

She scoffed at the uncharacteristic eccentricity of her thoughts. _‘Tis not a goddess’ curse, but a woman’s. A woman who hates me._

_A woman who envies me._

Yet the doctor had not taken this... feeling... out of her biology along with her womb, if only because the woman likely did not believe it to be possible for her to experience it at all. The desire to come together, to merge... a heightening of sensitivity and heat inside her that waxed and waned with the orb itself. Now full and in perihelion, the apex was reached and desperately yearned for release. Towards some sort of communion. 

Rei walked down the stairs of her apartment block, almost in a trance, letting her stream of consciousness run freely through wild associations while trusting her feet to lead. She boarded a train, naturally empty at that hour, and exited upon arriving at Headquarters. She did not enter Central Dogma, however. Instead, she took a different path, away from the bowels of the Dummy Plug System, bypassing the silent LCL immersions in which she sought refuge whenever loneliness was particularly unbearable. Tonight, she walked towards the gardens, where she often liked to go too, though never at night, realising that this would be the first time she deviated so wildly from routine. 

A song, softly hummed, and a voice greeted her upon arriving. “It is unlike you to disregard routine. Or an order. I’m surprised you’re capable of it at all.”

The jab dug deep, layered over the one the pilot of Unit 2 had once made, and just as painful. Piqued, she turned towards the voice and saw him sitting atop a broken marble pillar, smiling down at her. 

“Fifth Child,” she called out to him, trying to make out his face hidden in the shadows. 

“Pleasantly surprised,” Kaworu reprised, and jumped off. He landed right in front of her with the grace of a feather. 

“You have been looking for me.” He didn’t ask, rather stated the fact. 

Rei nodded. “ I was.”

“Why did you take so long? You already knew where to find me weeks ago.”

She glanced behind him, at the giant moon casting a halo around him. “When the moon becomes like this... it is easier to locate you. I waited until it was full.” 

He seemed to smirk, but she couldn’t see it. Darkness shielded his face, making his expressions unreadable which bothered her. She moved in the hopes of catching a better glimpse at an illuminated angle, but Kaworu moved along with her, completing the circle she was creating on the grass. She sidestepped in the other direction, only to have him counter again. They were like a pair of goldfish swirling in water; when one goes left, the other flows right.

She sighed and stopped, allowing him to approach her. “I have noticed that, in the back of my mind... I always know where you are,” she surmised quietly.

“As do I,” Kaworu acknowledged, smiling at her again. He pointed at the shining moon behind him with his thumb. “You don’t usually come but this one is much harder to ignore, isn’t it?” There was a gentleness to his voice that provoked in her the need to avert her eyes, suddenly abashed. Rei swallowed a gasp, perplexed at the situation in as much proportion to the heat pooling deep inside her.

She decided to sit and gather herself, and predictably Kaworu mimicked her, joining her on the edge of the fountain. The water flowed peacefully; it’s noise heightened by their shared silence, disturbed only by the cacophony of nocturnal insects. A handful of fireflies blinked in and out of existence around them for a minute, or an hour, or however long they sat together as time stretched between them.

It wasn’t until Rei spoke again that time resumed it’s natural flow along the fountain’s. “I have been feeling this... need... for some time and in each longing there is a pull... towards you. Why?

Kaworu chuckled. It was not condescending, rather sweet and a little playful. He gave Rei an affectionate smile and waved his hands around her, as if displaying her. “Ikari believes he did such a good job on you... created you to suit his perfect design. That there is barely any of your original Self left.”

She looked at him, puzzled. “What are you talking about?”

“All he ever wanted was to see his wife again, and so designed you in her image. And in doing so, nearly erased mine.”

“Yours?” 

Kaworu looked at her, far more solemnly this time. He moved closer, looking at her directly in the eye as he spoke. “What we were once, eons ago.” 

His thumb and forefinger reached her chin, holding it in place.

“You are my other half, did you know that?”

Rei pulled back, taking her face out of his hand. Yet, his words rang true in the darkness of her mind, in the pit of her stomach. She remembered their very first encounter at the top of the stairs. “ ‘We are the same,’ you said once.” 

Kaworu lifted his hand back up to her face, stroking her cheek softly. “I am Adam’s spawn, as you are made of Lilith. Their union created the beings known as the Angels and Humans, who are the Lilim. Our Souls are them. We are them.”

His other hand came up to cup her face and hold her gaze as he whispered close. “Awaken now, and become one with me.”

Rei closed her eyes, hazily, as if in a dream. His breath on her lips felt hypnotising. The tingling was so enticing she moved on impulse and grazed his lips with her own.

“There you are, Lilith.” He sighed into her. Rei opened her eyes and stared at him, recognising him finally.

“Adam.”

* * *

He wasted no further time nor words and pulled her into a kiss. It startled her at first and she was slow to react, inasmuch as she had never before experienced the sensation of another’s lips upon hers, though she had often fantasised about it. It was something she had come to believe, or rather hope, would come to pass with Shinji. Yet, Kaworu’s lips on hers felt... familiar. She angled her head and pressed against him on instinct, surprising herself even at how she knew the exact amount of pressure to apply to make him enjoy it. She may have never kissed Kaworu Nagisa before but her body moved as if he had been the only one she ever had.

Her hands tugged at his shirt and soon it was her dominating the kiss. She pulled him to his feet by the collar and pushed against him, forcing him to back into the shrubs nearby and causing him to nearly stumble on his feet and the terrain. She pushed until he was crouched on the ground and then straddled him, not once breaking contact through it all. Kaworu sighed into her mouth and the vibrations traveled through her like lighting, igniting her further. She was wet; incredibly so, and the autonomy with which her body reacted to his was both compelling and frightening. Kaworu looked into her eyes, knowingly, and ran his hands up her skirt, slowly, caressing the soft, creamy skin of her legs and making her shudder. A warm feeling and a smile arose within her at his bemoaning while he fumbled with the buttons of her uniform. She didn’t realise he could be so cute. 

Despite the surmounting pleasure, Rei couldn’t shake the feeling that something was amiss. She halted suddenly and straightened up. “Something is wrong. I cannot merge with you. Why?”

It took Kaworu a few breaths to catch her meaning, too distracted with his own intoxicating arousal. “You forget. We are no longer Nephilim. We have human bodies now.”

“Lower your AT field.” Rei commanded. 

Kaworu shook his head. “It doesn’t work that way.”

She cocked her head at him, confused.

“You have a human body now. It functions differently.“ Kaworu smiled up at her. “It feels different, doesn’t it?” He returned his hand up her skirt, this time tugging at the spot right between her legs. He caressed her mound softly and moved his thumb over the tiny knob of heat, rubbing with care. Rei swallowed her moans at the first contact but soon found it impossible to hold back the cries of pleasure forming in the back of her throat, falling out slow and deep. Kaworu rubbed gently but consistently on her, feeling the cloth there dampen profusely. He pushed a bit, near the hole, and Rei instinctively grabbed his arms, on the brink of unraveling. 

He stopped, allowing her to catch her breath. “If we are to do this, we have to do it like them. Like humans.” 

She asked haggardly, her chest heaving. “How is it done?”

He answered first with a short kiss, then an invitation. “Shall I show you?” That she readily accepted.  
  


Their kisses deepened quickly, far hungrier than before. Rei sighed and moaned into his mouth, falling slowly forward until she lay comfortably over him. Their legs intertwined together and rubbed at each other in ungraceful, desperate attempts to grant and obtain pleasure. Something poked at her, hard and blunt, pushed against her growing heat, causing pressure so arousing she rubbed against it. The reaction was Nagisa’s loud groan in her mouth which shocked her, and she was momentarily worried she’d hurt him. 

Everything; him, her, them... it all resonated within the void inside her, like a pebble dropped in a dark well, rippling into infinity. “Adam,” she gasped, acknowledging the ghost within him, as he had acknowledged her own unfathomable reality. “The polarity of my Soul. My original consort.”

Kaworu nodded at her self-revelation. “They’ve trapped our Souls in these bodies, but they don’t even understand what we are. We were created as a pair in order to birth life into the universe and are therefore destined to merge, for that is why we exist in the first place.”

“So now, tell me, Lilith,” Kaworu whispered, holding her against him. “Do you want to become one with me tonight?” To which she yet again agreed and fell back on him to resume their kiss. Suddenly, she felt sucked into a vortex. In that instant, their minds finally melded together, all barriers dissolving between them.

* * *

Inside her mind, she felt him ‘speak.’

_It’s been a while since we were like this. Aeons, if one’s counting._

There was no telling where she ended and he began. All she had to do was will the thought, and it would be so. 

_And have you been counting_?

He laughed, or rather she felt him do so. _No. I never thought I would see you again. We weren’t supposed to meet once more_.

_It doesn’t feel right. To mate and depart from each other forever_ , she considered. 

_It doesn’t feel right to your human Self. Humans get very attached_.

She thought of Shinji. _Yes, indeed._ Kaworu acknowledged, feeling her thinking of him. _Yet this is also what binds us across time and space._

_This is how I can locate you._ Rei suddenly knew, knowing it because Kaworu knew. _I, as Lilith, can still feel you._

_I can feel you too. I can... ‘know’ you as if you were myself. This is what merging is._

It was unclear which of them stated that last fact, as both resonated to it together. Suddenly she felt a warmth in her core. A kiss from within.

* * *

The wordless bond distracted her so she did not notice when he turned her over, and she was now lying beneath him, the dampness of the grass seeping through the thin fabric of her shirt. She watched him, tugging lightly at her clothes like a child eager to unwrap a present. Upon realising what he wanted, Rei felt a little apprehensive at first, but the artlessness with which he touched was so endearing it was reassurance enough. He asked her permission to remove her clothes with a subtle shift in his eyes, and she granted it. 

He began with her shoes, removing each slip on carefully, to then move on to her socks. Rei giggled slightly at the ticklish sensation of his hands on her bare feet, and he teased her the more she laughed. But he did not spend much time doing so, wanting to move towards more pressing matters. With deft fingers, he undid the buttoned skirt and tugged it down until all of Rei had slipped out of it. Then it was onto the shirt, which he took his time carefully unbuttoning, placing a soft kiss on each inch of skin he slowly uncovered. Once it was off he paused, taking a few moments to gather everything he removed and folding it neatly, putting it to the side. Rei smiled softly, moved at the gesture.

“You were an attentive husband,” she joked out loud. Kaworu let out a light laugh. 

“I still am. I’ll show you.”

He loomed over her, lowering himself down to take her lips again. Rei lifted her hands up to run her fingers through his soft, wispy hair, letting her nails scratch his scalp slightly every time he pushed on her tongue with his. She lost track of his hands, dexterously undoing her bra as he kissed her. It was not until the chill of the evening tightened her nipples upon contact that she realised he had stripped her of it. The arousal though was nothing compared to what she felt when he put his mouth to them and sucked.

Rei squirmed impatiently underneath him, tugging at his hair to indicate her wish for more more quickly, but Kaworu resisted giving in to her demands, wanting to savour the moment. He licked and tugged at a nipple gently, blowing hot and cold air on it interchangeably. He did the same with the other nipple, blowing and licking and tugging lightly with his teeth, until Rei was all but gasping out his name. His real name.

“Adam,” she whispered, her voice broken. “I want.. I want you... inside me..”

He shushed her. “I’m not done yet.”

He wiggled down her body, resting his face on her belly, and looked up at her. “This part isn’t something common to our species, but it’s part of human mating. At least I’ve heard it is. Do you want to try it?”

Rei furrowed her brow. “Will it feel good? Like what you just did?”

“Better,” he replied, a little smug.

He removed the last layer of cloth once she consented and positioned himself between her legs. Her confusion was brief; the moment she felt his tongue slide up and down her, right here at the origin of her lust, she nearly collapsed from the intensity, shooting through all her nerves simultaneously. He was careful to not overstimulate, interspacing licks with pauses and a bit of hot air; a reprise of his earlier ministrations. For what seemed like hours he sucked, rolling his tongue and darting right into her, drinking up her liquid pleasure eagerly as some of it dripped down his chin. 

_Did you know I created the Moon for you, for this reason? So you would see it and come to me when it called to you?_ He asked directly in her mind. 

_A mating call?_

_I suppose you could call it that._

_You mean to say, you intended for me to seek you out when I’m…_

She felt him blush.

_You make it sound worse than it is when you say it like that. But in essence, yes._

He licked her again. Rei arched her back in a perfect curve.

_So? Are you ready?_

He stopped, sitting back on his hunches and wiping his face with his knuckles. Rei missed his question, too lost in ecstasy, only noticing something had shifted due to the absence of his mouth on her. The slender boy then reached for her hand and pulled it to him, to his own pressing urge, desperate to be freed from it’s confines. Catching on to his meaning, she pulled the zipper down, and unbuttoned the belt. He slid out of his trousers and she pushed his shirt over his shoulders. His undershirt came off, as did his socks and underwear until he was as bare as she. Rei drank all of him with her eyes, astounded at their remarkable likeness indeed. The same nearly translucent skin, almost bioluminescent. She stared at him still as she settled herself and opened up her legs even wider for him, ready.

_I am._

Kaworu froze, absolutely befuddled by the sight before him. Rei watched him expectantly as she lay on her back, taking in the entire sight of his bare body cast against the moonlight as he positioned himself to her entrance. He was indeed made of it; a piece of the white moon itself made manifest and she, the black moon, awaited to engulf him in her infinite darkness. 

It hurt, slightly, when he entered her. It was too tight, and despite how ready and willing she had been earlier, he had trouble reaching deeper inside. Rei winced at the pain, but there was more to the growing unease inside her than just physical discomfort. There was something wrong... even blasphemous, about the situation. This is not how it is to be, the voice of her unfathomable void declared.

_Wait._

She paused him with a hand to his chest.

At first, he thought he had hurt her. _Do you wish to stop?_

_No. But something doesn’t feel right._

_We do not have to continue if it’s too painful._

_No, it’s not that._ Rei insisted, and then she realised the problem. 

_We’re doing it wrong._

She pushed him with unchecked force and he plopped on the grass, flat on his back and a little disconcerted. She then climbed on top of him and began to align herself on his erection, already slick with the mix of her juices and his precum. 

Kaworu stammered at first, slightly blindsided by the abrupt shift in dynamics, but mirrored her urgency feeding directly into their mind. At that, Rei began to descend her own body onto his, slowly and with patience. She felt his tip at her entrance and pushed until it, as well as her pain, were through. She pushed further, feeling his length stretch her, surprised at how full he made her feel despite having such a slender build. Breathing deeply and taking her time she continued until, inch by inch, she had taken him whole. 

She paused, sitting still for a while, impaled on him. The only movement was that of her walls, contracting and squeezing him from within, invisible to the eye. Feeling him squirm inside her with delight slightly amused her.

Kaworu could do little more than squeeze his eyes shut and moan, barely aware of much else. When he opened his eyes he gasped at the sight before him. Rei’s body sat silhouetted before him, lit on the edges by the supermoon behind. Her skin gleamed like infinite light and her red eyes glinted ominously within the inky darkness of her face, like an unnameable Eldritch goddess. She looked so familiar now. 

“You seem more... yourself now. You must be remembering more,” Kaworu said, using his voice, raspy and broken from the strain of the endless stream of sensations and emotions coursing through him.

Rei nodded. “This just feels... like the right way to do it.”

“It is... for who we were before. The female always dominates the male, in our species, ” he explained. “Lilith was supposed to submit to Adam, but she refused. That is why being on top feels right to you.” 

He dared not move and simply waited for her. His human male body ached for release but Rei remained still, seemingly lost in thought. 

“How is it that you can remember more than me?” Her voice had a harder edge; her matter-of-fact tone gone. The meekness had shifter to a darker, more dissonant key.

Kaworu ran a hand up her chest, feeling her heartbeat through his palm. _Seele has no need to keep their secrets from me. But Ikari has hidden everything from you_.

The mention of the Commander immediately elicited a warm feeling from her, but it drew bitterness and resentment from Kaworu. The stark contrast separated their minds momentarily.

“Why do you insist on protecting him?” He nearly growled. He was visibly angry, but Rei answered him with the truth nonetheless.

“I love him.” 

He grew angrier. Rei watched his eyes turn fiery red. 

“No, you don’t. Yui Ikari loves him. You are not his wife.”

_You are mine_. He yelled into her mind.

He bucked his hips hard into her, catching her off guard, but the thrusting flooded her with such pleasure it drowned out their momentary tiff. He grabbed her hips and pushed her up and off him and then hard back into his erection, repeatedly, until she was crying out. Although it was hard and fast and a little painful, it was bringing her to the very edge, close to spilling. He repeated the motion a couple more times until Rei realised he was doing something akin to marking territory. Seeing him behave like a... human… felt rather distasteful and infuriating; frankly beneath them. She pinned his hands hard on the ground and pierced him in place with her eyes.

_He made my body as he saw fit, and likewise he uses it. My Soul is bound to yours since the beginning of time and now you claim it. But my heart... that is my own. That is I, and it is I who chooses who and how to love._

_I belong to no one_. 

She tightened her walls around him, harder, squeezing him with full force. Kaworu cried out in pure ecstasy and she felt him harden even more inside her. She now controlled the pace, pressure and the amount, and he received it all. The feeling of absolute control was indescribable. Slowly and deliberately, she began to roll her hips and it was then she felt him yield, release the last of his resistance and finally submit to her dominance. He lay beneath her, receptive and expectant, as she swayed, gently, slowly, like the motions of the tides. It was as if the very ocean itself, vast and endless, were taking him.

The waves quickened; her swaying, controlled and controlling, began to rush towards her orgasm, in immediate grasp. Kaworu sensed it too and held on to her like a rein as she galloped him, desperate to arrive as well. Finally, she felt it come, powerful and destructive like the death of a tidal wave upon the shore. Inside, the warm current of Kaworu’s own seed filled her; his voice drowned out by the ringing in her ears. She cried out too; so loud, she was certain the Commander himself may have heard it all the way at the top of his lonely pyramid.

Exhausted, they collapsed next to each other on the grass. She watched him through half-closed lids, weary but pleased. He watched her back, drained and content. She squinted, drawing up her hand to shield herself from the blinding moonlight when she realised they were the ones glowing. 

* * *

There was only a sliver of pink light peeking over the horizon when they woke, still nude and in each other’s arms. Venus was hanging low where the earth met the sky, awaiting the return of the sun. 

Rei sat up, feeling the full effects of the evening on her body, cold and tired. She searched the grass with her hands, looking for her clothes when she felt Kaworu’s, handing her the pile he had previously stored away, while he buttoned up his own shirt. They dressed in silence, watching the dawn arrive. 

“We should have been more careful,” he said after a while, breaking the silence. “The last time we did this, we created hordes of Beings that populated the cosmos.” 

Rei knew it was a joke, but she could not laugh. “No need to worry. I cannot conceive in this body.”She looked away, feeling resentment creep up on her again. “Dr. Akagi made sure of that.” 

Feeling her anger at the thought of the despised woman, he reached out and took her hand in his.

“I... hate what they’ve reduced you to.”

She thought of Gendou again. How strange that she had thought of him at that precise time, though not completely out of place. He was but another man who fancied himself her husband; who saw in her nothing but his former wife. _He never made me feel this way, though,_ she thought. 

_Or her_ , she realised, dawning upon the truth her body, Yui’s body, had revealed to her that night.

_Did he ever…_ Kaworu asked, prodding through her thoughts. 

“He did not,“ she said out loud. “He only likes to watch... and touch sometimes.” Her voice returned to her usual flat-monotone the instant she mentioned him. 

“Do you… enjoy it?” Kaworu asked. He tried to make it sound innocent, but she could hear the edge of anger in his voice.

“I hate it.” She nearly spit out the words, surprising herself even. She had never before admitted it, but more precisely, she had never before realised it. There was something small and wet on her face and her eyes began to sting. Immediately she was in Nagisa’s arms. She rested her face on his chest, dampening his shirt with her tears involuntarily.

“I.. was wrong. I am sorry,” he whispered into her hair. “I thought we were meant to be together again, as dictated by our fate and essence, but you are right. That is not who you are anymore, nor are you a thing to be had. You are you. A new, independent being. Perhaps so am I.”

Rei lifted her face up from his chest and looked at him with weary eyes, “Is there someone you love, that you have chosen on your own free will?” Although she asked, she already knew his answer. 

She saw Shinji’s face appear in his mind, and smiled. Kaworu smiled at her, when he saw Shinji appear in her mind’s eye as well.

“What will we do, Ayanami? We are in love with the same person.” He smiled at her and laughed. For the first time in the entire evening, Rei laughed along with him. 

“The pilot of Unit 2 is competition as well,” she joked again, smirking in such a way it made Kaworu grin widely. He hugged her and placed a soft kiss on her lips. “We will have to be far more compelling then,” he told her. Rei smiled, letting her head rest on his shoulders and closed her eyes, listening to his beautiful voice hum the bars of that song he loved so much as the day greeted them.

**Author's Note:**

> \- So, this thing was entirely inspired by [THIS](https://images.app.goo.gl/dKgwA2SQKfB5XE2U6) picture I found on the internet (it says the author is Melina Selack - thank you for such a cute picture!) while searching for fics and other images of this pairing. I’ve wanted to read this pair for a long time, but I realise it’s a rare pair. I rarely find anything with them together, and when I do, they’re usually written as siblings or rivals (I suppose that makes sense, given their feelings for Shinji, and even that bled into my own fic). Nonetheless, I wanted to explore how it could be between them, especially since there is so much lore around their origins that I rarely see mentioned. In any case, as I wrote, it dawned on me why they rarely get written about as a pairing. It’s HARD! I struggled with this fic more than I do usually when I write, but it was still an enlightening exercise nonetheless. I still don’t know how I feel about it, but I did put in a lot of effort into exploring their relationship, so I hope it’s at least interesting to some of you.
> 
> \- btw, I made a twitter account :) Connect with me there if you want: @number2891. I’m always happy to talk ^^  
> I’m also on tumblr as http://no2891.tumblr.com. 
> 
> \- Thanks for reading <3


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